Today I wore a crop top since it was almost 90 degrees and on my way to Walmart I got grabbed by a strange man who was trying to hit on me. He wouldn't get out of my way even though I obviously wasn't in any, way, shape, or form interested. 

Why do men do this? 

Why can't they take no for an answer?!


panic attacks at night

My anxiety is at it's worst at night. I'll cry (usually over nothing), pace around my apartment, and start obsessing over everything I hate about my life. At night I feel trapped and it doesn't help that my apartment is the size of a box. 

Tomorrow I have to speak to a judge about my unemployment (to convince them I deserve it). So that's probably why I'm awake at 4am, drinking coffee, and having a panic attack. I've never had physical anxiety attacks or realized I was having them until now. It usually happens at night while I'm trying to sleep. My heart will race to the point of it being painful (like unable to breathe), my mind goes wild with the craziest thoughts, I get super hot and cold. 

Also fucked up dreams.


Wearing shorts for the first time in 5 years & strawberry water!

Today I did something I haven't done in 5 years, I wore shorts outside in public. Disclaimer, of course I've worn shorts in doors, in the safety of my own home, but not outside. Today I threw on some shorts since it's super hot here and went to the store. It sounds small and insignificant, maybe even dumb, but get in my shoes for a moment.