life is funny

I've been going through hell, pretty much.  No job, little money, and depressed.  But as of today, I'm happy.  Actually happy, I bet you're wondering.  Why?  How?  I guess you can say I've started to have a newer outlook on life.  Gratitude if that makes sense.  And I've also been listening to some inspiring podcasts which has helped.  

And as of today I'm employed!  


what now?

My 25 year old life has been incredibly uneventful and yet I still manage to go through crazy amounts of ups and downs.  Right now I don't know where i'll be in about two weeks if that makes sense.  I still have no job and only enough money to last me two weeks if I'm lucky.  I haven't contacted my family or friends in months because I'm going through a weird depressive hermit phase.  I'm calm only because I have antidepressants, without them I'm afraid of what I might do.  I have job interviews set up and was even offered a job but sadly this was a part time minimum wage job which could barely pay my rent.  When I applied I thought it would at least be full time, so I'm panicking, as usual.  I'm tired of being stuck, even though I've accomplished more than I thought I would this year it seems like no matter what I do I still end up in the worst situations.  I'm praying that everything will be okay.

Fingers crossed. 


My computer broke :(

My computer is broken and I'm trying not to freak out.  I can't get into it, I've tried everything and it's only flashing a blue screen.  Luckily I've saved a ton of my important files (like my book) but I've pretty much given up on it.  I'm typing now on this little pink computer I bought a long time ago.  It was used, it's tiny, and super buggy so I can't do much on it.  Luckily certain laptops aren't super expensive so I should be able to get another one soon.  I'm still job searching, I've done a few interviews but no job offers yet, I only have a few weeks until my unemployment runs out.  I know I'll have a job before then I just hope it's one I like and want (and pays well). 

I'm still doing my social media ban because I'm still haven't edited as much of my book as I need too, I miss Twitter.  Instagram not so much.