8.02.2017

2017 GOALS Update?

It's 10 pm and I can't sleep (Yes I sleep early and I'm still doing my social media ban so I don't have Instagram or Twitter to distract me.) so I want to do a 2017 goals update.  I would say mid-year but we're in August.  ALREADY. 😭 This year is flying by and I can't keep up.  At the beginning I made a long list of goals and I guess I'll let you guys know where I'm at with them.

7.28.2017

CHANGES

I've started my job search (finally) and as much as I'm reluctant to be an office drone again I need to start making real money.  This time around at least I know the type of work I can do, none triggering work.  I'm looking forward to getting out of this apartment although I haven't been laying on my ass.  I'm working on my book and exercising most days.  Recently I've made a huge decision in terms of my book, if you read my author blog you'll already know this but I've decided to TRY traditionally publishing.  Which means getting an agent and having my book published by a certified publishing company.  

The real deal. 

If that happens my book will mostly likely end up in Barnes and Noble, department stores, etc.  Honestly I've decided to do this because I don't have the money to self publish, so why not try?  I don't expect much from it and if nothing happens I'll just self publish which is still a legitimate way of publishing anyways.   Only time will tell. 😌

7.15.2017

i wish i could fall in love

Today is the third day of my social media ban (from Twitter and Instagram) and I feel so lonely.  I decided to ban myself from them for 30 days to finish editing my book.  Also because i've become too reliant on them, if that makes sense.  The negativity they can bring effects me, even negativity that has nothing to do with me.  Like celebrity news or reading bad comments, etc.  I absorb everything and my mind loves to fester.  Doing this makes me realize how lonely I am, I wish I had friends or a boyfriend.  Someone.  I don't like talking to my family members because they judge me for everything.

I'm a hermit so meeting people is impossible, I guess I use social media as a way to fill that void.  I've been this way since I was a little kid, a homebody.  In high school I rarely hung with friends outside of school.

I'm been a lonely girl since birth.

I should be use to it and I kind of am but it doesn't make it any less depressing.  I envy people with tons of friends, sometimes I don't even think my own family cares about me.  The sole two best friends I had in high school are engaged.  Most of my Facebook friends are engaged or have kids.  I'm happy for them but it makes me wonder what's wrong with me.  

Why did I have to be so unlucky?