6.15.2018

Wearing shorts for the first time in 5 years & strawberry water!

Today I did something I haven't done in 5 years, I wore shorts outside in public. Disclaimer, of course I've worn shorts in doors, in the safety of my own home, but not outside. Today I threw on some shorts since it's super hot here and went to the store. It sounds small and insignificant, maybe even dumb, but get in my shoes for a moment.

6.10.2018

How I lost weight! (the first time) 45 POUNDS!

I've been meaning to write this post for a long time and I'm finally getting to it. (I actually wrote this once and it got deleted 😑)

Anyways in this I'll explain exactly what I did to lose weight. The picture says I started at 153 pounds but in reality I was much bigger possibly almost in the 160s. I avoided the scale out of fear. In total I got down to 108 (mostly due to being sick) but stayed for a while at 115.

6.07.2018

coming to terms with my body

Since I was a kid I've never felt normal in terms of my body. (Everything else too, back then it was rare to find other black girls into the things I was into.) I compared myself to my big sister and my female cousin whose my age. I was the biggest and most awkward. Growing up I was that quiet girl who wore the same jacket almost every day and never showed skin. Shorts, dresses, and skirts were a nightmare. Tight fitting clothes even worse. Back then it wasn't just that I was fatter, during my development something strange happened with my body and one of my breasts grew much bigger than the other. Breast asymmetry, basically. A lot of girls have it except mine was so bad and noticeable my family became worried I had breast cancer. 

As a teenager I tried to live with it and hide it as best as I could.

I tried being normal.

But, I couldn't.