9.09.2012

Living in a nightmare...

I bet you guys are really getting tired of these kinds of posts.  But I'm really starting to believe I live in a nightmare, just a few days ago I was starting to feel better, I felt so good after writing all my frustrations down in this blog but now everything has caved in on me again.  These posts may seem extremely personal to you guys but I don't mind writing about this stuff because I look at this blog almost like a diary.

My mom's crazy fiance assaulted me (i'm okay) a couple of days ago and now he's in jail (but he'll be out soon), I have to move out of my mom's house, and my mom is in denial about everything.  She still wants to be with this abusive freak, talk about desperate.  I love my mom but how can she marry a person who hurt her own daughter???  How???  Now I might have to live with my older sister which I'm not to mad about, my sister lives in a beautiful apartment right in the middle of downtown.  But I'm just worried she'll get tired of me and send me back to my dad's house.  I love my dad's house but I don't want to depend on him he's already done so much for me.  Maybe I'm just being to over dramatic?  I'm 20 and I need to start acting more like an adult. I feel like all I'm doing is whining.  If I do move in with my sister I'm going to try and make the best of it, it'll be nice finally being by people close to my own age.

When I read the blogs of other girls I get so envious at how happy their lives seem to be.  I'd love to be in school, have friends, or have a loving boyfriend.  Somebody on the Black Gyaru facebook group told me not to stress over the little things and be happy for the good things that I do have.  I'm learning to be this way, and I want to be more positive!  Even though I'm going through tough times now I know good things will come to me, I just have to pray about it.  Thanks to whoever reads or comments, I know I have a few followers but I'm glad now that I have a few because I would feel strange typing such a personal post if I had a lot.  

Thanks for reading...

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