05♥13 Okcupid, birthday, anxiety, & gets!

Hey guys!  Birthday was a bust, but I'm not mad, birthdays aren't a huge deal for me.  I bought new things, that's all that matters. :)  And I'm 22, an adult!  (sort of)  My family still treats me like a baby though -__- but I don't blame them, I'm not the most mature person in world.  Who is at 22?  It always makes me laugh when I see people changing their style when they become 20 & up.  It's always into something matronly.  Hello?!  Being in your twenties is the prime time to discover who you are and find your place in the world.  To be loud, fun, and do all the shit you couldn't do as a teenager.  Not become matronly and boring.  Save that for when you're actually old.    

But that's my opinion.  

Fuck that, I'll be kawaii forever.

Also I'm still working hard to get this stupid book done.  I've come to the conclusion that I need to buy a mini laptop to type at work.   I spend 10 hours at work, nearly, so why not get it done there?  Fingers crossed this'll help me get finished faster, my goal is to publish in the next six months.  And I plan to use whatever money I make to fund a year in Japan.  (yeah, super realistic goal...)  

I've been on Okcupid a lot lately and I beginning to think maybe online dating isn't my thing...  My pictures are pretty, my profile is fun (I think), so I get a lot of views and messages.  The problem is all the guys who message me are either gross, old (not a huge issue), creepy, or total freaks.  Some examples are one guy asked me to sell him a used thong, another got angry (calling me stuck up) when I wouldn't reply to his messages, this one guy sent me a message because apparently my pictures gave him a boner (what he said), I've been asked if I wanted a sugar daddy, and 90% of them start the conversation by telling me that I look like Nicki Minaj (white guys lol).  Then when I do start messaging back and forth they're always not what they seem.  It's annoying.  Sometimes I think I'm just not meant to be with anyone.  Or maybe it's just the wrong time to try and get into a relationship.  I'm always busy, I'm trying to study in Japan, and I have so many issues.  

Yes, issues, as in anxiety.  Lately my anxiety as been really bothering me.  You'll know this if you follow my tumblr, there I put all of my cryptic messages when I'm having an anxiety/panic attack. (Facebook and Twitter feels to public) I'm convinced that I'm either sick or dying.  Or that I should hurt myself in someway, I wouldn't of course, but it's what my thoughts keep telling me.  I wish I could talk to a therapist but I there's no way I could afford one.  One thing that helped me was this app called Stop panic & Anxiety Self Help, I was having a BAD panic attack and listening to the voice on this app calmed me down so much.  It really helps.

If you're like me, try it.

And now here's some recent gets!

I finally bought some high end make up!  It's been four years since I've started wearing makeup and I remember when I first started the thought of spending more then 10.00 on foundation made me cringe.  Now not so much...
1. Nars Tinted moisturizer (Dark2) 2. Kat Von D Lock 'n Load Spray 3. Tarte Amazonian Clay Waterproof brow Mousse 4. Urban Decay Eyeshadow sample 5. Makeup Forever Powder Sample
 I'm thinking of doing a review on the Nars moisturizer, it better be good since it was 49.00 dollars.
I learned of this product from Wengie, she had this in one of her favorites videos.  The way she made it sound made me really want to try it.  It's a Korean product and super popular with Kpop idols.  It's supposed to give your skin moisture which my skin greatly lacks due to me being addicted to mountain dew.  It's VERY expensive, 48.00 dollars but I really wanted to try it.  I definitely will review this once I start using it.
For some reason the picture is kind of foggy so it's not truly showing how awesome these are.  I'm in love and plan to buy more, they come in a lot of different colors.  I'm thinking of getting the floral print next.
Floral print hat from eBay, it looked pinker in the stock picture but it's more of a salmon pink.  Still cute! :)
I think this is either the last or 2nd to last issue of Egg, I'm really sad it's ending but Gyaru is life!  I might buy some older issues for inspiration and nostalgia purposes.  Egg was one of the first Gyaru magazines I ever looked at, it's weird thinking no more issues will be coming out.  So weird.


  1. Yeah, ok cupid has made me want to give up on finding someone. I feel like 90% of the people on there are perverts or trolling. Anyway, please review the Kat Von D spray as I just bought the foundation a few days ago and would love to know about the spray! I love your blog. btw.


  2. So true about okcupid :I I think i'll give up sooner or later, and I'll definitely review the spray, thanks! <3

  3. Dating online is full of omega males online who standards are unrealistic. I love your brows and hair. Your pull of the thick brow look well!!! Too bad your birthday was a bust, I hope it's better next year.