It's getting harder and harder to update, not because I'm bored of blogging, I've just been feeling like shit, as usual. I don't even post on Facebook anymore, I'm mainly in the gyaru groups reading posts, sometimes commenting. Most of my social networking sites are pretty dead aside from Twitter and Tumblr. I do plan to start making youtube videos again, eventually, once I get over this weird phobia I have about how I look on camera. I've recorded videos but I refuse to upload them because I keep spotting flaw after flaw. Mainly with my weight. Lately I'm mainly focused on work, I'll officially reach my one year anniversary of starting on September 17th. Time flew by. It feels like I've only just started. The job is DRAINING to be honest but it pays well so it's worth it. I'm making little progress with my book but I do work on it whenever I can, I'll probably finish it in about...twenty years give or take. Other then work my life is still boring, like always, my social anxiety hinders me but it doesn't effect me as much as it probably should. I think it's getting worse, people always stare at me (long blonde hair, lots of make up, weird fashion) and when they do I tense up so badly with a numbness in my throat. It's not shyness, I'm far from that, it's just a terrified feeling in which I immediately assume there's either something on my face.
After months of stalking the site and practically drooling over everything I finally made a purchase from Dollskill. This store is my weakness, almost every item they sell I want. Even though I know most of the stuff they have is way overpriced, in my opinion. The one thing I actually desperately wanted sold out and they haven't restocked since. This coat.
So I made the decision to buy something else I wanted before it sold out too. Life is short so if you have the opportunity to do something you want, do it. So I bought it and it was expensive. Here it is on the model.
Death 50/50 Sweatshirt
And here's mine. It's EVERYTHING. The floral print, the reaper skeleton, the loose fit, all my style. If you guys haven't noticed I'm getting into the whole grunge goth thing, still gyaru of course. NOT NEOGAL. Don't be mistaken. I definitely plan to buy from them again, but wow are they expensive. After paying for this sweater I almost had a panic attack realizing how much I just spent. The shipping was fast, it came wrapped safely, and the quality is what it should be for how much I paid. I want to buy more things but my bank account is not going to let me. Fashion has never been my strong point but constantly being on Tumblr makes me want to improve. Three things define my style: anything black (sometimes pink), boyish, and oversized. Sort of like this edit of one of the Olsen twins.
I still have a long way to go before I'm anywhere near fashionable but I am becoming more interested in it. Also my shoes finally came in the mail, I was shocked by the quality since they were cheap, definitely worth buying. My sister said they look like winter boots since they're thick at the bottom (creepers). They give me height and the print is perfect, I'll start wearing them once it gets colder.
I'm still annoyed that I started late with buying gyaru magazines and now all of the good ones are discontinued. I bought this one after seeing Sakurina was on the cover. I like the magazine, as usual lots of inspiring makeup/hair tutorials and all of the models are beautiful. The only problem is they're older then me. Most of them are in they're thirties or late twenties, I don't want safe mature makeup and hair I want be wild, sexy, and fun. When I turn thirty that's when I'll do safe makeup, maybe. I guess until another magazine like Egg is made this is what I'll have to look at.
And I got my Dior face powder, not 100% sure if it's worth the amount I spent, my face is an oil slick and this powder only keeps it matte for a few hours, I have to constantly retouch. Though my skin hasn't been as bad as it normally is. Ever since I've started buying quality skin care products and using them, my skin has improved SO MUCH. I've only been doing this routine for two months and I look a million times better, especially when I compare to my older pictures. My premature wrinkles aren't as bad, pores smaller, and my skin is smoother. I plan to make a skin care routine video once I get back into the whole youtube thing. Hopefully soon. Until then here's some of the products I've been using.
1. Dr. Jart Cermidin cream & liquid 2. Cocoa butter stick 3. Yu-be foaming skin polish 4. Kiehl's epidermal re-texturizing micro-dermabrasion 5. Lancome comforting rehydrating toner 6. Olay mini peel 7. Dr. Jart water fuse water max sleeping mask 8. Manuka Honey 9. Shea Butter (not pictured)
I think the key is to consistently use each product, don't skip a day or week. I use to do this all the time and saw no results. For those wondering the Manuka honey is what I use as a mask, I exfoliate my skin then apply the honey leaving it on there for at least thirty minutes. Manuka honey is supposed to be like a super powdered variety of honey. It's expensive but it has some many benefits, especially with wrinkles. But honestly I think just drinking water would clear up a lot the issues I'm having with my skin, but right now that's impossible for me.
Thanks for reading.