(this is a wig, not sure how I feel about it)
Honestly, I've had it with this job.
If I still lived with my mom I would've quit a long time ago but now that I have my own place I have way too many responsibilities to just up and leave. I've been on the search for a new one, fingers crossed I'll find a better one soon. I'm at the final stages of my book. I'm working on the 2nd draft and it's coming along as good as it can. So maybe I'll have a second form of income once I get it published. Though when I work on it I start to get these anxiety attacks.
Negative thoughts will hammer at my head.
I'd tell myself no one will buy or like it. This is just a waste of time and I'll be stuck in the call center forever. It's like I have this invisible entity trying to keep me from finishing. Nonetheless I'm still working on it, I'm treating it like I'm a college student working on a final LOL.
I also had a weave, which I hated. I went to the same stylist who did my ugly braids (big mistake but I wanted to give them a second chance) and she fucked up this hair style too. She left out way too much of my own hair. Thus making it impossible to blend my hair with the weave without a 400 degree flat iron. Afterwards she couldn't even figure out how to style it. All I wanted was to be able to put it in a ponytail (which I told her!!!) and I can't even do that.
(you can really tell how bad it looks in this picture ><)
(here too, I think I look like Nicki Minaj in this pic)
Now my hair is a nuisance so I bought a wig until I get it redone. I'm thinking of going blue, I miss blond like crazy but I want to do something different for the start of the new year. Then go back to blond. Something like this blue purple mix.
I've never wore this wig out but I wanted to see how it looks with make up, I like it way more than I thought I would. I have a huge head and typically short hair styles don't look that great if your head is shaped like a watermelon (like mine). I probably won't wear this until the summer or I might buy another one in a more natural color.
As for recent purchases I'm steadily growing my Mac collection, I now have four Mac items. I just got a new Mineralize Skinfinish in Lightscapade, it's gorgeous. It looks like it's only meant for pale skintones, but it fits me perfectly fine.
(I'm wearing it here on my cheeks, it's very subtle)
I received a gift card from Sephora that gave me 20.00 off so I jumped on that and got some stuff I've been eyeing. I've wanted this blush for literal AGES (it's called Exhibit A). I think I discovered it by watching a tutorial by Crystal (Thelovelyify) and I fell in love. This picture does it no justice, it's a pure red color and super pigmented, yes it's 30+ dollars but I think it's worth it. Especially if you have a dark skin tone. Mine looks a little dirty because a few specks of powder got on the mirror.
My room is still pretty bare so I bought some artificial flowers to make it a little more kawaii LOL. I've been planning to do this for a while, just need to find better tape, the flowers are already drooping off.
I started my Christmas shopping and I'm already almost done, I bought my sister a few goodies from her list. This year we gave each other Christmas lists, on mine:
- Gift card to Mac or Sephora
- Anything Hello Kitty
- Anything pink
Super simple and nothing too expensive.
(yep pink princess wrapping paper)
My sister's birthday was on November 30th we celebrated by going to Benihana and for once I took pictures of my food! Yay for getting better at blogging! My new goal is to always take food porn pictures, I just don't go out to eat that much. Mcdonalds is like my second home but that never looks food porn worthy. LOL I got the steak yakisoba and a soup, sooooo good. The yakisoba was even better as leftovers, the only bad thing was our server sucked, she acted like she didn't want to help. She seemed shocked whenever we'd ask for assistant. Whatever. The food was good.
So I'm starting my new youtube channel soon, I already made the account. I bet you're wondering why I'd make a new channel when I already have almost 2,000 subscribers on my first one. Here's a few reasons:
- I hate my username, yeah we're now able to change them (sort of) but when you link your channel that name is still there.
- Video quality. My old video quality is just terrible, sometimes it was good but most of the time it looked and sounded bad, especially during tutorials. Now I have a new camera YAY so everybody will finally see how ugly I am. ><
- Videos in general, my old channel started out as a Gyaru fanpage to be honest, I only had videos with slideshows. Then I started making Gyaru tutorials, after that it just became this random mess of videos. Nothing matched or caught on, I didn't make enough beauty videos for it to be a beauty channel and it started to become more of a wig review channel which wasn't what I wanted.
- I've changed. Seriously I have. I'm no longer in my mom's house, I actually have money LOL, I know way more about beauty/skincare, and my environment is less toxic. I'm just a little bit more comfortable with myself.