end of the year goals!

Slowly things are getting better, I start my new job this Monday.  I'm somewhat ready, of course I'm not looking forward to being back at a desk, but, I'm doing everything I can to not make this another bad experience.  It's technically only a temporary job but it lasts until next year.  Luckily this job is only a walk from my apartment so I won't have to save bus money, the perks of living downtown.  I was at another Temp job and God did I hate it.  The atmosphere was cold, the training was confusing, and they forced me to wear these ugly heels (they provided) since they were very strict with their business attire or whatever.  It was another customer service call center position.

I'm over it, it doesn't fit me.  Never have, never will.  Even as a kid the one thing I remember telling people is that when I grow up I don't want a desk job.

Guess I failed.

Corporate America, paycheck to paycheck, business attire.

I'm over it!!!!

When I started that job it really sunk in how unhappy they make me.  I can make 100 blog posts complaining about hating my job but it's not going to change anything.  Not until I start doing something about it. 

I've been working on my fiction novel for roughly 6 years on and off.  Over that time period my writing style changed, my viewpoints on life, and the theme of my novel. 

Pretty much everything changed.

So a few months ago I started a fresh "outline" for my book, a new more polished one (this will be the third time now >_<).  After working on it on and off I've finally finished it.  It pretty much takes up this entire notebook.

This new outline excites me.

It's finally a version that is a good mixture of drama, trashy, and educational LOL. (My book is called Mean Boys BTW)  I'm itching to finish it.  

For the last of 2016 my ultimate goal is to get this book done.  

No more procrastinating and no more fears getting in the way.

I'm gonna suck it up and finish it.

Writing for me seems like my only gateway out of working miserable office jobs.  

I have no more excuses.

Also by 2017 I will be at my goal weight, or I'm confident I will be anyways.  So far I've lost 17 pounds, and technically I'm only 6 pounds away from what I considered my normal weight...which is 130 pounds.  If you do the math you'll figure out how big I was.  I want to be between 115-120 by the end of the year and I'm sticking to that goal.  I'm still SHOCKED I've lost weight, it seemed impossible for such a long time, but, here I am shedding the pounds.  One tip I'll share is not to be hard on yourself, sometimes I'll skip a day (or days) of exercise and the old me would've treated that like it was the end of the world.  It's not, don't fret.  You don't have to do a full body workout everyday sometimes you can pick only one area per day (legs, arms, abs, etc).  I can't wait to do a full post on what I've been doing, I plan to get that out before the end of the year.

I've gained so much confidence and I'm now striving to be much more fashionable.  For the past few years all I've worn is depressing t-shirts and sweat pants, that's it.

I refuse to hide myself any longer. 

I even bought a Nutribullet (a red one!) and I'm super excited to use it, I've wanted one for a long time.  I've been wanting to make my own smoothies and shakes and now I'll finally have the chance (I'll take pics when I get it).

There's still three more months left in the year, a lot can be accomplished in that time.  I can't believe how much things have changed for me especially when I compare it too last year.  I'm a lot happier but I'm afraid of being happy.  I'm one of those people whose thinks being positive will only somehow lead to bad things.

Yeah I'm weird.
I loved my makeup here, I'm starting to wear color again!  Also my hair was in a bun but you can't see it. :/


  1. You look good! and congrats on the job :) I am looking forward to the post on what you have been doing to lose weight. I recently started working out and eating less and now I'm curious about how other people are doing on their journeys. Happy Halloween!! <3