i wish i could fall in love

Today is the third day of my social media ban (from Twitter and Instagram) and I feel so lonely.  I decided to ban myself from them for 30 days to finish editing my book.  Also because i've become too reliant on them, if that makes sense.  The negativity they can bring effects me, even negativity that has nothing to do with me.  Like celebrity news or reading bad comments, etc.  I absorb everything and my mind loves to fester.  Doing this makes me realize how lonely I am, I wish I had friends or a boyfriend.  Someone.  I don't like talking to my family members because they judge me for everything.

I'm a hermit so meeting people is impossible, I guess I use social media as a way to fill that void.  I've been this way since I was a little kid, a homebody.  In high school I rarely hung with friends outside of school.

I'm been a lonely girl since birth.

I should be use to it and I kind of am but it doesn't make it any less depressing.  I envy people with tons of friends, sometimes I don't even think my own family cares about me.  The sole two best friends I had in high school are engaged.  Most of my Facebook friends are engaged or have kids.  I'm happy for them but it makes me wonder what's wrong with me.  

Why did I have to be so unlucky?

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