1.23.2018

How not to start a new year...

Normally I start the new year with a goals post of some kind but I've been too busy (stressed) to do that.  It's only January and I can only describe 2018 so far as hectic and anxiety inducing.😓 I've gained weight, had health issues, my job is beginning to annoy me, and I can't seem to consistently work on my book.

I guess I'll start with the weight gain, ever since I reached my goal weight for some reason in my mind reaching that magical number meant I could eat anything I want.  Nope.  It only took a month of semi bad eating (and little exercise) for me to gain 15 pounds, yes 15.  When I saw the scale I nearly had a heart attack.  I had to remind myself I'm not naturally skinny, nor do I have a fast metabolism.  I can eat a chip and gain 5 pounds. 😭  So I'm back to being low carb and exercising as often as I can.  I call it the #skinnylegend diet. 😂😂  My goal weight is to stay between 110-115, I'm only 5'2. 

When I say health issues I guess I mean a health scare, basically I thought I had something going on with my breasts.  Thankfully it's nothing.  My breasts have given me issues for years.  Maybe one of these days I'll go more into detail about that. 😔

It's funny my job should be everything I wanted: not at a desk, for the most part no customer service, and I get paid enough to pay my bills but I'm not happy.  I'm not miserable but definitely not happy and I'm sure it's because I'm not doing what I love, which is writing.  Also the communication at this job sucks, there's not enough workers, and I never feel like I'm doing enough.  And 89% of my co-workers are playful extroverts who think I should act like that too.  When I don't they give me weird looks or are just bothersome in general, if that makes sense.  It's like they think I have to entertain them. 

A sort of good thing happened then turned to shit, I met this cute guy who worked there and we connected, I think?  Because he disappeared!  Either getting a different job or a new shift.  Nonetheless I haven't seen him in a while so I guess that was a waste of time. 😭😣😅  I didn't ask for his number and probably should've so maybe it's my fault.  

My advice, don't be afraid to shoot your shot.

Lastly as usual I'm editing my book but going at a snails pace and it's driving me crazy, I just want to be with done with it already.  I get distracted so easily and recently learned my severe restlessness is due to my anxiety thanks to Google.  I never thought of that but it makes so much sense.  And ways to stop it are meditation and progressive muscle relaxation.  I'm not saying this is the end of my book editing problems but I think knowing this is going to help me a lot.  I hope to have my book completely edited by my birthday April 29th or sooner. 😅

So these are the main reasons January hasn't been so great and other minor things.  Of course it's not all bad and I remind myself to be grateful everyday but it's hard.  This year has the potential to be amazing if I allow it too and I will. 😌

2 comments:

  1. im the same height as u and i went from 130 to 170 :/
    i know the feeling! a body is just a body but for some reason i cant get over being short and stubby.
    i want to be 128lbs... i think i will feel really good once i reach that goal!
    i hope we can reach our goals <3 good luck on ur book! i know u can do it. i have been following someone who is a writer and gives tips on writing novels and maybe they can give u some insight. @thenerdylion.com i beleive. good luck!

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    1. Thank you! <3 Good luck on your goals as well and thanks for the link I'll check that blog out! :)

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