3.16.2018

over it all.

So I lost it at work and by lost it I mean having an argument with a co-worker, throwing my glove at the floor, crying hysterically, and threatening to leave until my manger came in on his day off. Also being in an airport there's cameras everywhere and the police saw it and sort of stalked me while I was working then asked if I was okay. Hours later I was embarrassed and annoyed I couldn't control myself. At the same time I'm kinda shocked this hasn't happened sooner, I'm unhappy at this job as usual. The argument happened because this girl got mad at me for not helping her with something at work even though she never ASKED and I was never told I had to do this. I stock markets in an airport, it sounds simple, it's not. Thankfully me and this girl talked it out and she apologized but still I hate how I reacted and I know it was pent up frustration. 

Now after a few days I don't feel much better but I've learned how to bottle it up and I'm looking for another job. I've been having suicidal thoughts and I know when that happens I need to move away from what's triggering them, fast, and that's what I'm trying to do. I'm afraid I'll quit this job without another source of income and I hate to go down that very hard road again.


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