Today I did something I haven't done in 5 years, I wore shorts outside in public. Disclaimer, of course I've worn shorts in doors, in the safety of my own home, but not outside. Today I threw on some shorts since it's super hot here and went to the store. It sounds small and insignificant, maybe even dumb, but get in my shoes for a moment.
Since I was a teenager I've dealt with self-deprecating low self esteem. I rarely showed skin, as a matter of fact I dreaded it. I had a love/hate relationship with my legs. Sometimes I thought they were beautiful but mostly I saw them as giant with thunder thighs, cellulite, and stretch marks.
Obviously I hated my legs.
I also had a bad habit of comparing them to other girl's legs and avoiding mirrors. Especially as I begun gaining weight. Even in 90 degree weather I wore pants, no matter what. I was afraid of being judged, plain and simple. In my head my legs were hideous and people would notice, laugh, or look disgusted.
You're going to get judged NO MATTER WHAT.
Whether your legs are perfect, you're a supermodel, you're Beyonce, or Jesus.
You're going to get judged.
WHO CARES, you can't hold yourself back because of other people's judgments.
So today (technically yesterday) I put on some plain Nike shorts and went outside to Walgreens. No one said shit and to be honest I felt beautiful and free. Yep free in Nike shorts, a dirty t-shirt, and an oily face from doing my skin care routine😅. I didn't care who stared, I bought some water, came back, and that's it.
It sounds silly but I'm proud of myself. I conquered something I've been afraid of for years and this is just the start. I'm ready to show myself off, to be confident, to be me.😊
Here's a tip: I recommend trying strawberry water if you have a hard time drinking plain water, it has literally changed my life. All you do is slice strawberries and put them in water overnight. It tastes amazing and because of this I've been drinking so much more water. 💪