i'm not dead

I've been stressed, suicidal (as usual), and jobless. That's basically it. Personally I find it difficult to do anything I enjoy when my stress takes over. The past few months my stress has hindered me more than ever. It's been HARD, that's the only way to describe it. Honestly I feel like I haven't been fully conscious like I'm a ghost watching myself deteriorate and I can't do anything about it. 

Just, it's been hard. 


what not to do during a tough time (and what to do)

So once again life has gotten tough and I'm going THROUGH IT. My money is running out, I'm having suicidal thoughts, weight gain, possibly getting evicted, still jobless. I'm so stressed I've been having weird dreams where I always wake up yelling. My skin is acting up, my piercings look gross because they refuse to heal, and I'm definitely shaving my head again.

I'm at a low point in my life right now and I'm doing everything you shouldn't do when this happens😑. I've drowned myself in Twitter and Instagram, ignored my personal hygiene, stopped working on my book, stopped exercising/eating healthy, thinking constant self loathing thoughts, and acting as if worse case scenarios have already happened.



Today I wore a crop top since it was almost 90 degrees and on my way to Walmart I got grabbed by a strange man who was trying to hit on me. He wouldn't get out of my way even though I obviously wasn't in any, way, shape, or form interested. 

Why do men do this? 

Why can't they take no for an answer?!